At Hope is Everything, we understand those moments in life when everything feels pointless. When it feels like nothing matters and there is no goal or sense to whatever is going on. Part of experiencing grief, illness, loss, and challenge is getting that feeling of numbness and heaviness. And we, as a community, get it. We advocate for healthy approaches and mindsets that can make life easier in rough times, and we often talk about them because we consider them an important part of promoting mental health.
We collected some ideas that make our hearts softer, not by avoiding hard feelings but by embracing them. Even though they might sound cliché, they are important to hear once in a while to remind us that hard times are a natural, even necessary, part of life.
- Not everything has a lesson, and that’s okay. Even though life always finds a way to show you light through the dark, life has plans that can feel painful and unfair, and sometimes, there isn’t enough reason or explanation you can find that will make you feel better than just allowing your body to feel what it has to feel for as long as it aches.
- There is always a cup of something ahead. The cup of tea that waits for you every morning. That hug from your partner that warms up your heart. The small talk you are going to have with the farmers’ market lady who lights your day up. The book you are going to read. What awaits you is part of believing that life always has something to offer, something small but immensely joyful.
- You deserve to see what happens. You deserve second, third, and fourth chances.
- There is growth happening even if you can’t see it or comprehend it. Life is a spiral, and transformation can look messy, and that usually indicates a good sign.
- You keep the door of possibility alive. When you keep going, you get to experience things you did not think were possible for you. You get to give life the benefit of the doubt, and what comes right after you do that is that it surprises you.
- People care about you. Another human being is looking out for you, even if you don’t remember. We get caught up in our own minds, forgetting the people who love us. One person is enough to feel cared for, and it does not matter if it is the barista you see every day, your mom, your sister, or your step-brother; the point is that always someone is going to believe the world is better because you are in it, and that is enough reason to keep going.
- People want the same thing you want: connection. Bell Hooks, in the book All About Love, shares that “knowing love or the hope of knowing love is the anchor that keeps us from falling into that sea of despair” and quotes Jack Kornfield: “the longing for love and the movement of love is underneath all of our activities”. We do things for the sole purpose of connecting, feeling a part of something or someone. Nobody is exempt from that.
- There is only one you; no one has the same brain. No one sees things the way you see them, or thinks the way you do. It may sound overused or silly, but it is facts. We are individuals with particular ways of being, and we can be extremely different and, at the same time, similar enough to create connections.
- You can always try again. You can get up and fail, and the world is not going to end. You can wake up and realize that there is no rule to follow or structure to accomplish, but just another opportunity to be as you are. Life will meet you there.
As Clarissa Pinkola says, and I quote, “If you have a deep scar, that is a door; if you have an old, old story, that is a door. If you love the sky and the water so much you almost cannot bear it, that is a door. If you yearn for a deeper life, a full life, a sane life, that is a door.”
When you choose to see your pain as a threshold, life rewards you. Everytime.
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— Written by Ariadna Bermudez, Freelance Blog Writer
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